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Lesson 4: Icing the Cake Many years ago I took a course in cake decorating. My problem was in choosing the colors and designs for the frosting. They all looked so good in the
pictures, but when it came right down to it, I never seemed to know what to do. It can seem that way when it comes to choosing options for your aftercare program. You may have difficulty deciding what is
best for your business, your families, and your community. This section provides more options. Just remember: as long as you are providing grief recovery services to families, your aftercare program can
be whatever you want it to be. Seminars
Sometimes a grieving person is reluctant to attend a support group or even to talk to someone on the telephone. Some believe they are strong and do not need information or
help. A great way to spread the word to these people and others is to sponsor a seminar on grief. If you can find a good speaker through your local hospice, hospital, mental health center or some other
institution or bureau, contact that person. Attend one of their presentations to determine their potential for your program. Try several speakers, if possible, before you make a selection. Note that
most speakers of this caliber are entitled to an honorarium.Once you have decided on a speaker, talk to him or her about doing a grief seminar for you. If your funeral home is large enough, you might plan to
hold it there. Contact a local church to see if you can hold a seminar there. In either place, offer refreshments. If using a church, make a donation. Include both the church and speaker's
organization as co-sponsors with your firm, if they agree. Remember that some churches and organizations will allow you to use their personnel or facilities, but may not want to be perceived as favoring a
particular funeral home. If a grief seminar is successful, based on attendance and the feedback you receive, you may want to continue to offer informational programs on a regular basis. If your community
is too small to support more than one seminar each year, you might think about offering other seminars on specialty topics such as "Coping with the Holidays," "Helping the Bereaved," or "Special Ways to
Memorialize." Check with speakers to determine popular topics. There are many nationally recognized presenters on grief , who will command a much higher fee than local speakers. Ask those who work locally
in the area of grief to offer names of notable speakers. Their reputations usually bring many people to seminars. Book such speakers well in advance. They will have schedules of different fees based on
the nature and length of a presentation. When you spend more money to have a speaker of this stature, you will want to hold your seminar in an attractive facility that will hold many people. Your
advertising, refreshments, and logistics must be the best. I highly recommend that you look into the possibility of co-sponsoring an event of this quality with another agency or organization.
Training for Caregivers in Your Community
If you live in an area with several agencies or organizations that work with grieving people, you may want to provide some type of encouragement to these caregivers. To show
your support, you might offer training sessions, especially ones that provide continuing education credits. Network with professionals in your community to learn what subjects might be of interest. Offer
a one-day educational seminar, for example, not only for caregivers in your community but for your own staff as well. Promote the seminar to hospice personnel, nurses, physicians, social workers, counselors—and
don't forget clergy. Or, since clergy are often forgotten in the area of grief education, you might want to offer a seminar just for them. I have found that many clergy have very little training in the area of
grief, yet they are among the first responders to a family after a death. Giving them extra encouragement, education, and acknowledgement for the work they do will enhance your relationship with these
caregivers. As you know, the partnership between clergy and the funeral director is very important and rewarding.
Libraries
When I first stared working with grieving families some twenty years ago, there
were only a handful of books about grief on the market. Today, there are literally thousands—books that cover every type of loss for every relationship at every age. Build a good reference library of books,
audiotapes, and videos that can be used by your families and by care-giving professionals in the community.
- Check with people you work with for recommendations.
- Talk to some of your families to determine what books have been recommended to them.
- Go to a good bookstore and review its selections.
- In most cases, you can request to preview a video by renting it prior to purchase. Let others preview it with you to get their input. Videos can be very costly, so make sure that they are ones that
will be used.
- Include collections of brochures and articles on grief. Most companies will send sample collections of their brochures at a nominal cost.
- You may want to subscribe to magazines containing articles on grief.
- As I do research at the university library, I often copy articles for later use that I keep in a notebook indexed by subject. I have found them to come in handy, especially for students or when I prepare
for a speaking assignment.
Networking
I have
used the word "networking" several times. Coming from a background in nonprofit agencies, I learned to "network." The value of my networking over the years has paid off many times over in the work I do for
our funeral homes. Networking can benefit your business in many ways and only takes a little time to do.The biggest problem I have had with networking is running into competitiveness or the perception that you
are invading someone's space. Some feel that they must not share the "secrets" of their work. They protect their territory. But when we share information and expertise it can only enhance our
knowledge, which benefits those we serve—our grieving families. Our funeral home was one of the founders of the Grief Support Network (GSN). Because it was difficult to track all support groups in our
metropolitan area, we invited the local agencies and churches working with grieving people to a meeting. It was a great way to find out what everyone was doing—and for us to learn what else was needed. The
group identified innovative programs for our community, and we were able to offer assistance to fill the gaps. There are now 50 agencies in the GSN. As the network's activities have expanded in response to
community need, so have public awareness and the reputations of the agencies involved. Points to Remember
Seminars are a great way to show support for
families and to show your support and encouragement of other caregivers in your community.
- Developing a library of grief literature in your funeral home provides an excellent resource for families and students.
- Networking can benefit your community by providing opportunities for sharing information and expertise among caregivers.
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